The Mommy Wars ...

On Facebook recently I was part of a debate on a friend's wall. This is something I actually try very hard to avoid, nobody likes their wall becoming a place for argument, and many of these debates can be moved to private forums.

This is the debate that took place; a friend asked as her "status message" for advice from veteran parents about what to do with a biting child. Several people said bite him back, myself included, based on experience that I have with my own children, some things work on some kids, some things don't, but when it comes to biting I have seen it work with several children. A child can't learn empathy unless they experience pain, much like a kitten has to learn how to control the strength of their bite and the power of their claws by playing with other kittens and cats, a child has to learn that certain words hurt, certain actions hurt, and sometimes with some children the only way they learn is by experiencing it for themselves.

There was one woman that spurred the debate, that said it was absolutely wrong to bite your child back, and personally attacked me and others saying in essence that she was a better parent than that, and basically flat out stated she was holier than me because she was "discipling" her child rather than punishing her.

This got me talking to several people and basically this comes down to the "mommy wars" ... the breast vs bottle, stay-at-home vs working, co-sleeping vs solitary, spanking vs no spanking ... all these things that mom's have judged each other about time and time again ...

To me it's not black and white ... it's not right or wrong ... it is what works best for the family as a whole ... I am not here to judge your parenting ... I am here to raise my own kids ...